Kimmie climbs the walls

Hiya Friday peops

At last a little bit of summer has arrived, and the sunshine has diluted some of the poohy news – shootings, ASBO, etc etc – just gives you a bit of a lift doesn’t it?

Bit of irony this week - while doing one of my regular ‘Risk Awareness’ training sessions, the staff appeared momentarily distracted…… (at least they were still awake I mused….) as they stared out of the windows – alerted by screeching brakes – to see our huge oxyacetylene cylinders being delivered – with the keen delivery guy racing them across 3 lanes of traffic……..it was like I’d arranged a live video clip of the everyday risks our gang like to take at work!!??

I’ll keep this brief again as I have very little feeling in my fingers after climbing at the indoor Creation Climbing Centre in Moseley last night – my arms have been like two lead weights today – can’t lift my arms much – and it’s quite amazing how many times you need to do that every day (if any of you are bored – try and keep a tally…), open doors, reach for chocolate, grip anything without jiddering like Mrs Overall………and typing on a keyboard… the wee girl staff member who was looking after us had to tie a sandbag to herself cos she was dealing with so may lumps of lard slithering up the wall – she was at risk of ejecting through the roof if any of us had suddenly slipped!

Mind you – nice SPICE crowd and a real good laugh – they wouldn’t let me come down – which I suppose I could use as a life metaphor for this week ;-)

Shall be sunning myself in Monmouth tomorrow on a nice little bimble…..hope yours is a good un’.

Kimmie x

WHY CLIMBING IS BETTER THAN SEX (a man's perspective):
1. When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
2. If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection!
3. You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans it for you, provided you don't put it in too deep.
4. There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
5. You can get belayed without first bekissing.
6. A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
7. No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
8. Having a belay slave is not a criminal offence.
9. The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
10. Dry friction is a positive quality when you're climbing.
11. The rocks don't care if you show up late.
12. The rocks don't complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
13. When you're climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
14. Your belayer never hesitates when you yell "TAKE!"
15. When you're climbing, weird body positions are considered "cool".
16. The rocks don't scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
17. The rocks don't complain when you don't want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
18. A three-finger pocket isn't too big. 19. You don't have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.

WHY CLIMBING IS BETTER THAN SEX (a woman's perspective):
1) The rock is always hard.
2) Rocks are never busy watching football when you'd rather climb.
3) Rocks don't complain about the kind of protection you want to use.
4) You can go climbing with another woman and nobody will call you names or hassle you.
5) You can use ropes and harnesses and nobody will think you're kinky.
6) You can go climbing any time of the month.
7) It's over when *you* reach the peak.
8) You won't die of embarrassment if your mother finds your rock gear.
9) If it's in too deep, you can yank on a nut.
10) Nobody ever got pregnant rock climbing!
11) If you need something REAL big, you can always put in a Big Bro'!

Grumpy old woman demands new bum

Hi Friday peops

Short one today – you’ll be pleased to know -well, by my standards… nuff said…cos I reckon something is in the air…. lots of little negative fairies flying around – dumping their misery dust on my head - and it’s time to fight back!

Went to register at a new gym – don't bother with 'Fitness First' folks....and the nice little boy with the rather shocking hair do – and cowboy boots on – tromping round the gym area (what happened to plimsole rules?) tried to barter me up for the best rate (what’s that all about!?) …so I kindly pointed out that we were in Stirchley – not an African market trying to barter the price of handbags – this is my bum bags we are talking about – and sod the fact that I’ll get my body fat measured once a month for an extra sixty quid – who wants to pay that much to be depressed once a month!!?? The shittily photocopied form that I had to fill out so that he could assess my bodily needs had a tick choice of why I was there – one of them was “New mum” (what’s that all about - is it asking if I want one??!!!!!) so I crossed the first ‘M’ out and put a ‘B’ there – which confused the little sod ;-)

Work – don’t talk to me about work – I shadowed a ‘Young Adults’ clinic this week where we invite those in transition from childhood to reality to support and offer grown up advice, but I guess it’s been a million years since I was there myself and now I’m just a grumpy middle aged duffer – I admire our wonderful therapists – how they didn’t launch themselves at them I’ll never know – I was on the edge of my seat ready - guess it’s just me this week with my negative fairies - it was the boys (what a surprise) who knew what they wanted – and it wasn’t a reminder about what real life is all about – doh! Thankfully the girlies were more motivated – good for you girlies – didn’t let me down – in fact were rather inspirational ;-)….. then today some plonker booked me to do a training session at 3.30 – knowing I finish at 3 o’clock on Friday – my Fridays are sacrosanct – so after a classic teenage tantrum – just to show I learned something from the clinic…. I rallied and though I could see the troops fading I bravely soldiered on – my personal motto being that no-one pees me off on a Friday…

And on that grumpily ‘I need a large glass of wine’ Friday moment – can I just say that I hope your week has been better than mine…. I know Eva’s wasn’t – she got frog marched to a police station by a mad man – who had offered to change her flat tyre but then decided that her spare tyre was illegal, (I’m presuming Eva meant wheels and not her midriff?) tho Eva got to meet some “cute policemen”…..and I thought I’d had a bad week!!…. Also Don is in Peru – finding himself - so probably not having the best of holidays – and Mike at work met a nice RAC man today who gave him a new windscreen since his disappeared somewhere on the way to work….. tho there has been some nice news – Alex passed all her A levels and is in the Music college of her choice – and my neighbours are all enthusiastic members of the Space Station club – yes – in Stirchley we are not embarrassed about being caught out late at night in our front and back gardens staring skywards for a glimpse of the International Space Station ;-)

So – keep smiling – or grimacing – as long as it’s convincing…. :-)

See you tomorrow Alex for part 1 of OzFotofest400 ;-)

Kimmie x

Can’t wait till I retire – Tony sent this a while back – and with Mike’s little problem today – and my whole attitude this week, I feel it would do me good to try this SOON…

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our days interesting.

The other day my friend Marilyn and I went into town and visited a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes, and when we came out, there was a traffic warden writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
So I called him a turd.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.
Marilyn then called him a S--- head.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
To be perfectly honest, we didn't really care.
You see, we came into town by bus, but we try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age

Ample bum bags cause crop circle shuttle shock

Hello Friday peops

The Badby bimble with Gary last weekend was a dream – glorious sunshine - see photo - and with using my ample bum to rest my ample bum bag on managed to stay and (if I say so myself) look rather cool – and as you can see created my very own crop circle - rather better weather than the bimble in Herefordshire – remember TGIF 200707? Martin has sent me another photo which I will add to that Blog posting – I couldn’t look any wetter!

This week has been magical and I've been rather star struck – magical cos me and Sue went to see Harry Potter - very good - those twins eh.! and then with Nessa’s Morris’ help (remember the Morris dancing TGIF?) last night watched the International Space Station fly over Birmingham with the naked eye!! I missed the Shuttle which was following a minute later but mom and dad didn’t so were well chuffed - am going to go out again tonight and cop a look. I wonder if they took any photos of the Badby crop circles I created with my ample bum bags from the shuttle ;-)

I’ve texted a load of you but in case I’ve missed anyone – get out there ten minutes earlier to get adjusted…. cos the Shuttle will be flying across at 2117 from WSW towards the East and again at 2252 from West to SSE with the International Space Station a minute behind – we can all wave at the same time – what a bonding TGIF moment that will be ;-)

For you Kiwis – and Owen in Hertfordshire…. and Ed in London you need to go to the Heavens Above website’ and register and pop your postcode in and you get a list of times it flies over your house – I guess with you Owen they will probably also tip their fins :-D

Look....at 2015 it was here....how exciting is this??


I’ve seen a brilliaaaaaant Youtube Shuttle special, and spent ages watching the NASA webcam
at NASA - NASA TV Landing Page– highly recommended – did you know they see the sun rise 16 times a day!!!! How fab is that?!

It has taken my mind off a somewhat typical Friday at work – y’know the sort of risky stuff which always happens on a Friday came rolling in today – I'll tell you but I may have to shoot some of you - but there is a top secret emergency planning exercise this weekend in Brum – fake man flu outbreak I think......anyway – someone in their wisdom sent a global e-mail announcing the secret exercise.....we already know how many victims there will be – and have even advertised for volunteers already to help out……I do hope when a real emergency breaks out we get time to rearrange our weekends :-/………………..then…….remember that scam e-mail I told a lot of you about recently with a worm virus thingie attached to it - coming from fake greeting cards sites – well again a wise manager sent another global e-mail to all staff – with a sample of what it looked like……………and yes – you’ve guessed it – they took the sample from a real scam e-mail complete with virus-laden link :-O

Quiet weekend ahead – need it after all the excitement this week - staying home - going to feed the old uns – they are wasting away – probably do something with a Space theme – it’ll be ‘out of this world’ and milky bar stuff!

Have a great weekend – and happy star gazing :-)
Kimmie x

Jupiter came down to Earth one day and decided to help these two criminals to rob a bank. Anyway, to cut a long story short, they got caught and the three of them found themselves in court. The judge sentenced the two earthlings to fifteen years, and Jupiter was a bit shocked when he was sentenced to ten years."But your honour" said Jupiter, "I didn't even take part in the robbery!""Yes" said the judge. "But you helped them ... Planet!".

Baggy Point shock - Pink pebbles seen in Lee Bay

Yo Friday peops

Bit of a slow week as have spent most of it recovering from last weekend in Lee Bay in Devon with Sue and the Walkwise guys! Ol’ Tom Tom (Bless!) took us his usual scenic way - so the last 2 miles was down a dirt track – with grass growing down the middle of it! Luckily we only came across one other car and two bikes – his was a Tigra – so it was my little pink thing that had to sidle over…. Carefully :-/

The hotel was in a gorgeous location – see pic at top with a rock pool beach and you can imagine mine and Sue’s smiley faces when we found the beach had pink pebbles! We did have a geologist with us but he was a bit grumpy – boy geologists obviously don’t get as excited over these things?

Our first walk on Saturday had undertones of Gary’s walks – y’know the 11 milers that turn into 14 milers but no one is sure how! We were all happy tho cos the weather – thank you Met Office for getting it wrong again – and scenery was fabulous.

Here on the left we have Sue mounting the Great Hangman – and on the right - me and Sue posing at ‘Baggy Point’! Sunday’s walk was just as nice – the uppie and downie bits were quite ‘Hobbit-like’ see the pic below.

The down side from my bum point of view is that the food was gorgeous – and thus despite two visits to the gym this week I’m getting to resemble Baggy Point!! We also met some really nice people from other SPICE groups – no grumps at all (apart from boy geologist but he doesn’t count) – which was nice ;-)

So this weekend me and Sue are looking forward to seeing Gary again – he’s taking us for a bimble round Badby – so fingers crossed for a lovely weekend for you gang too :-)

Happy weekend

Kimmie x

Two apt Tommy Cooper gags:

I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on........

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."