Who remembers 'Heads, Shoulders, knees and toes....?

Or should that be nose?

Hi there Friday peops,

My body is falling apart…
But my daddy – the silly old fart,
Has made it his sole ambition,
to win this competition
So I trap a nerve between my toes
But he wins with a bloody great scab on his nose!

Yes – the competition is hotting up – I’ve been really fed up cos I have spent a small fortune these last few months getting new boots/insoles/socks/ energy fluids – anything to try and stop this excruciating pain in my feet – well, just my left foot – I read that once – fab book…..anyway nothing has worked until mum aka the ‘Oracle’ flicked through her pages of ‘self diagnosis and came up with a ‘Morton’s Neuroma’ – hey Heather, did you know you had a pain in the foot named after you!?

Anyway seems she’s right – and so have ended up having very painful physiotherapy from a lovely young thing on the local green, well in a shop off the green really…..and have another session planned for Wednesday. Daddy has a nasty infected hooter and is on antibiotics – and really feels rough – so between us we are two grumpy buggers!

I tried to cheer myself up when I was offered three free days on Dating Direct – I thought – go for it…. What a bloody waste it turned out to be! Free days my bottom! You could express your undying lust for someone but they couldn’t reply – and vice versa – until you coughed up £9 for a month! The only person who fancied me was Martin, who is a good mate – so when I contacted him directly by e-mail – he then tells me he’s just met someone and is hopeful it’ll work out – bloody good job I hung on to my pennies I say!!! Then I had the opportunity of setting my prospective love interests a quiz, so used some of their suggested standard questions…. and invented some of my own deep and meaningful ones, only to find that Dating Direct had a sense of humour failure and rejected my last question which was…. “What is the point of setting these questions, when I don’t know what your answers will be unless I cough up a tenner?”

Luckily I have some good mates who have kept my spirit (levels) up…..been to see Mama Mia with Alison – excellent ‘feel good’ film – will become a classic I reckon – still smiling now – very funny…. and laughter is the best medicine isn’t it? So on Saturday off I pop to an open air ‘Rock with Laughter’ concert at Ragley Hall with Jasper Carrott, rain, Lenny Henry, rain & Jo Brand – plus Elkie Brooks, (blimey she can hold a long note!), Bootleg Beatles, rain and the Manfreds with Sharpie and June – wasn’t rocking with laughter though when it took us an hour to get out of the grounds!! We had a great view of the stage - look at the pic!

The soggy weekend continued but became more luxurious……

I told everyone on Facebook I was looking forward to enjoying a date in a hot tub last night – and I did – it was a Sainsbury’s ‘Taste the Difference’ Medjool date – and very tasty it was too…..Numpty and I enjoyed them immensely - see the pics …at least you can rely on Sainsbury’s!

Sadly her hubby was having one of those hubby ‘sense of humour failures’ – I see them a lot – I think Portsmouth had lost…. I’m not sure that’s why all my friend’s hubby’s have a sense of humour failure – sometimes it’s for other reasons I think – or maybe they are all Portsmouth supporters?…..forever more they shall be known as that…. :-)

Anyway he failed to appreciate the time and effort we had taken in preparation - when we bravely and ceremoniously flashed opened our towels to proudly reveal our ‘Brazilians’ before we got in the hot tub……….OK – so see below for a pic of both our Brazilians - and maybe you too will have a sense of humour failure - bah humbug :-) as we both ceremoniously held them over our pubettes..... – well we thought it was funny….. I bet he’d be the sort to write that he had a GSOH in a ‘dating advert’ too :-D

Hope your week goes well……

Kimmie x