TGIF :-) NHS - has gone to the dawgs

Hi Friday peops
Thanks for all your e-mail and text good wishes re the old bird - who has survived the NHS holocaust - I passed them all on - mom has lived to fight another day (and dad!) -and thanks also for your encouragement to complain - some of you have already tried it - so as you know it is futile and a waste of energy - all you get is a placatory 'sorry' letter - but nothing changes - so we didn't bother, but maybe some national newspaper will pick up the photos off the Blog - I did got mom's best side? .

It came to a crunch when she ceremoniously threatened to discharge herself last Thursday evening after learning that they were considering keeping her in 4 days over Easter doing sweet fanny adams, as they hadn't bothered to push for the last vital hugely time-consuming and life-changing test - yes - a Doppler of her legs - and for those of you who don't know what that is - it's basically a 5 minute mini-ultrasound test - a last 'vein' attempt (get it? vein....) to look at blood flow - yes folks this is where your tax is going.... anyway needless to say the nice man came up and did the test and she stomped off the ward, with more engorged veins protruding from her very angry neck than her legs!

Ian still seemed determined to find a clot - so chauffeured her to Leicester where she had a thorough MOT courtesy of all his very important colleagues - all they could find is that she has forgotten how to breathe properly - and walks too fast?! So mom is retraining herself to breathe from her diaphragm - that's the muscular doobry under her lungs - not the contraceptive variety - mind you that might be more interesting?

Work - is back to 'normal' - I've had a good week with some interesting incidents to sort out - like the secretary who reported that when she re-loaded her Printer's paper, pictures of naked women churned out - so we had to try and get to the 'bottom' of finding out who it was, and keep 'abreast' of the investigation, and I would be there for her if she felt the need to get anything off her 'chest'..... and then we had an e-mail alert about a Neonatal nurse in the UK who had set herself on fire after using alcohol hand rub - so I asked our Lead Nurse whether we should have a policy in place to reduce the risk of spontaneous combustion of our already dwindling nursing staff, and I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to print her reply in case any of them read the Blog ;-)

Had a lovely evening with Peter yesterday - went to see Mr Bean - don't bother - only a couple of funny moments - so we came home and chilled and read books instead -which was much more fun - we're reading about 3 each at the moment and getting them all mixed up - well, I am - he's not... for someone who can't remember what I told him yesterday he has an amazingly selective memory - I guess memory and Mr Bean are both 'man things'?

I'm off to Trentham Gardens tomorrow bimbling with Sue & SPICE - Sue is very pleased cos it's my turn driving - and there is a German beer festival there apparently - so I think there will be much girlie singing in the car again on the way home! I shall also be asking Peter to help me set up my wormery - they are in the kitchen at the moment settling in to their new home :-)
I'm off to slurp some wine now.... a sort of toast to a 'normal' week - I hope yours was fairly normal.

Welcome home to Chris & Rohini - and good luck in your new job in Leicester Ro! Tracy - sending you big hugs for you and Janet.
Love n stuff
Kimmie x

TGIM :-/ NHS - why infection rates are so high and people are starving!

Hi Friday peops
Bit late - but figured it was Bank Holiday and you wouldn't mind - and wasn't in the right frame of mind to write anything on Friday - so anyway here goes...

On Monday mom felt 'strange' on the way to the shops with dad and took herself into the GP's who '999'd' her into her local Acute Trust - the 'Centre of Excellence' her oxygen levels were low and blood sugar was high - and they thought she might have had a pulmonary embolus - so admitted her overnight to the Medical Assessment Unit. Now this is where the fun started - mom is surrounded by male patients - yes, according to the Department of Health 97% of Trusts meet the single sex accommodation standard - Smelly Poke isn't one of them it seems - to add insult to injury a student nurse was continually tying the curtains back between the beds so there was no privavcy or dignity for mom - sort of robotic style - something to do I guess? Little Brother came down and listened with his stethoscope and talked to me in Doctor gobbledegook speak - talking about gradients and such like - hadn't a bloody clue what he was on about!

On Tuesday, I discovered that mom had been moved round the corner and was effectively in the passage way of a DVT clinic - with a row of men sitting opposite her - all waiting for routine blood tests - no chair to sit in - and her jug of water and cup across the 'route' that these out patients were using! She begged me not to say anything because she felt safer here than round the corner with the junkies and drunks! After several tests were proving negative they still seemed determined to find a clot - I did point out that if they were desperate they could opt for the clots who had been sat at the end of her bed every day - me and dad. She was evicted from her bed at 12pm and promised a bed on the ward - which she waited and waited for - but hey, a bit of comfort - the evening meal arrived - so mom was served some soup - on a dressing trolley - which was doubling up as a linen trolley - yes - see the pictures - the blurry one is because I was shaking so much with anger!! Better still, because she was in the 'clinic' area, she wasn't 'allowed' a plated meal - so just the soup - to help the healing process.....yup folks - something else which was promised - protected meal times - what we're not told is that if the patient is in the 'wrong part of the ward' they don't get ANY meal!! She finally got moved to a 'proper' ward at 7pm.

By Wednesday I had gone down with a rip roaring cold - and was in a vile mood - and poor mom was snapping and I was snapping back - and in a nutshell she discharged herself on Thursday night - I'm glad she did though because I really do believe she is safer at home.

That is why you didn't get your TGIF - and believe me this is a snapshot of the things we experienced - you really wouldn't believe half the stuff we experienced. There have been a few tears this end I can tell you!

Anyway suffice to say - don't feel like being very funny and ending with a joke - or maybe I should - here it is: The NHS ;-/

On a happier note - last week's TGIf now has a photo of Alex on it... plus Peter has been a darling and put up with my moods - mind you that's probably because he hasn't been anywhere near!.....so that's been a good show - thanks Peter!! :-/

Stay safe - ie 'Go Private'!!!
Kimmie x

TGIF :-) Alex Recital - wear lilac my arse!

Hi Friday peops
Well I've packed it in again this week - so sort of glad to be spending tonight in writing to you all....hope you are all springing into spring?

Had another lovely chilled weekend with my boy, and then Monday was a whirl - Alex invited me to a 'recital' which turned out was her A' level exam recital!! - she told me by text to 'wear purple' so I duly obliged - piling it on - knickers, bra, top, earrings, bracelet - and finally my bright rambling fleece - only to turn up and everyone is in purple evening wear - doh! ...including Alex - who looked stunning! She has sent me some photos so herethey are. She turned it into a mini concert - playing Vivaldi, Bruch, Brahms, Scott Skinner and then on her electric violin a couple more pieces - "The Devil went to Georgia" backed by the Teachers rock band - fab!! ...and a Croatian creation called "Explosive" - truly breathtaking - laugh though - the headmistress introduced an unsuspecting Rob who ended up making an excellent unrehearsed tribute speech - quite emotional - wouldn't have missed it for the world....then I bombed across Brum to see another budding starlet - Petey boy - and his Drama class put on their final playlettes - which was great fun too - I'm so cultured :-).

Tuesday - me and Sarah managed our first Earlswood lakes bimble (of the year) - which mellowed us both out until we rounded the last corner and Sarah made the mistake of asking two men what they were planning to do with their land - as they had flattened the bushes and trees - well - talk about Mr Grumpy..... all I can say is I'm glad there was a brook between him and us!!

Yesterday me and Peter went into Stratford to see Russell Howard, supported by James Dowdeswell - at Cox's Yard - hilarious - in the row behind was a fellow ex-officer from the TA - Fiona and her hubby - so in the intervals we had one of those whirlwind girlie conversations reminiscing about our balmy army days - brilliant - she reminded me how naughty I'd been - and how I was always on guard duty - me? never!! She has joined the TGIF crowd - so that's two TA buddies in our midst - with Nessa too..

Today, we mooched around Stratford - the Butterfly farm and had them landing all over us - especially liked Peter - see him here on the left - looks like he's eating one for lunch!....and there's a lovely lizardy thing who took a shine to me...and then we met up with Waseem who generously treated us to a 'posh cake lunch' and gave me a copy of his book 'Good Morning Afghanistan' - and get this... not only does he thank me in the 'Author's notes for my 'valuable input' he signed it "To Kim, Your writings every week are what kept me sane in Kabul. Thank you. Waseem" Me!! My writings!!!.... being fluffed up by Mr 'Author' OBE!! As usual, he kept us entertained for a couple of hours with his stories - and at one point he asked me whether today was a holiday or day off - so I explained it was ' leave' but that sometimes I worked over half an hour here or more if I was stuck in a meeting - and would claim it back as 'time owing' - so he then explains how he accrued time owing in his last job - managing to get accrue two months ... turns out he got stuck in Oman because of the bombings, then there was a war here, a war there, more terrorist activity here ... and so on... made me feel quite silly being stuck in a meeting!!

Will leave you with a couple of jokes - first is a tribute(ish) to Alex - and the latter was from Peter today walking through Stratford - thinks he's funny.... actually he is :-)
Kimmie x
A composer walks into a bar - and the barman says "Get out! - and don't come Bach....."
William Shakespeare walks into his local, and the barman says "Get out! You're bard....."

TGIF :-) 230307

Hi Friday peops

It has been a weird week - a lot of 'butt' related moments - does my bottom look.......? Nothing new there then. Every meeting I had on Monday was either cancelled, or when I turned up they'd forgotten why I had been invited....think it is getting to NHS meeting overload - so I just shuffled around aimlessly... feeling like 'yeah but no but.........'

Tuesday was fab - worked alongside a couple of Rehab engineers and Occupational Therapist at a 'Specialist Seating' clinic - amazing teamwork - basically clients (mainly kiddlings) coming in because they had outgrown their wheelchair seats (some were dangling precariously as they'd suddenly shot up having a growth spurt!) or their posture in their chairs is poor - our engineers work with some external company engineers who sit the kids butts in a huge plastic bean bag - and suck the air out and mould the chair around these little sprogs - and voilla - a made to measure seat - and they are comfy once more. I wonder if the bag would be big enough for my butt? The engineers get to know them over the years and the adoration in the kiddlings faces was a joy to see - nice to think we're getting something very right ;-) Peter came round in the evening - and we were browsing through some photos he'd brought over - and I had one of those jaw dropping moments - as I spotted myself on a couple of the photos!! Yup - we've met before - some years ago - he's got a photo of my butt!!! He had been on the same 'bog hopping event with SPICE :-O See the pic from the SPICE website - he has one from right behind!!! Even with the photos he hadn't realised it was me?? Must have made a big impression eh - get it?... mind you he was with one of his many ex girlfriends then - and I was with my lovely sweet Kai - yes have found someone with a longer history than me - can't keep up with all the names he flies at me - hope there's not a written test!

I've had the last couple of days as leave - trying to 'get it all in' before the end of the financial year - so I did myself a list, and amazingly it has grown rather than shrunk.. I've ticked a few off though! And guess what one of the things on my list was - yup - I've bought a new water butt - which Peter is going to fix up for me the weekend (hopefully...) - waiting for the pic to upload from my mobile - may have to wait until next week - you will be impressed!

A few of you have asked about what has happened about my telephone flasher - well, he had been arrested and charged I understand but I've heard no more - hence I thought this joke which Nessa sent me tonight was rather apt :-)

Hope you have a great weekend - Heather's in her new Meriden mansion, Gerry & Jane move next week - and a SPICE baby has arrived - more news next week about that, and I popped Sarah's birthday present round to her a month late - but I'm thinking it's better to say I'm 11 months early for her next one :-)
Kimmie x

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again."Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

TGIF :-) 160307

Hi Friday peops
Happy ‘Red Nose’ Day - couldn’t find a nose but am wearing a red thong in lieu :-) Hope your week has been full of good stuff. Mine was mixed - I’ve been a roofing apprentice :-), first responder :-(, am officially an OAP - ‘optical aged person’ :-( and finally today a companion for two old dears :-) - who I treated to a special trip to the garden centre - we know how to be extravagant in Brum - and as always ended up spending more than they did??

Last weekend I was Peter’s little helper - putting a new little conservatory roof on his mom’s ‘lean to’ - which is going to be her little artist’s bolt hole - you wouldn’t believe how many permutations there are for two pieces of twin wall polycarbonate and a glazing bar - Indeed I quickly glazed over - only coming to when Peter had one of those ‘Home Video Clip Horror’ moments and fell through the step ladders - I didn’t laugh… honestly :-/

His penchant for shock entertainment continued on Tuesday when we went out to grab lunch - baguettes and rather large Capuccino Muffins - and he suggested settling ourselves onto a bench on the ‘peaceful’ A38 shouting above the roar of 6 lanes of traffic watching the World go by…..when the World came to a screeching thudding halt - a motorcyclist had flipped a lady right into the middle of the junction of Oak Tree Lane/Bristol Rd - she was out for the count - and he’d crash landed - so Wonder Woman, knickers hoisted, lunch stuffed in pockets ran over - and (here’s a handy note for you all if you are considering a flip manoeuvre like this one - always do it in the vicinity of a hospital) - when I got there a lovely calm doctor had it all under control, and the next to arrive (bizarrely enough) was an old nursing colleague Chris from my ITU days - in ITU gear - so all a bit surreal - I learned later that both were significantly injured but it was hoped they’ll make a good recovery - quite a relief as my baguette had lost it’s charm - tho I think the flattened muffin has taken up less thigh space - so that’s good news coming out of bad?
Spec Savers this week have declared me 'old' - but rather than go for the bifocals I’ve got two pairs - one for driving - might even be able to read signs now - and one for close work - so I don’t get them muddled I have a pink pair to match the car (what else would you expect?).
Hope you all have a great weekend

Love from Kimmie OAP x

TGIF :-) 090307

Hi Friday peops





Another crammed week here - brace yourselves.... or flick to the end for the joke... Last Saturday I spent a fabulous day with Peter shopping for a hedge for his front garden - as you do - it was nice to be spending someone else's money for a change - anyway, that evening we had a lunar eclipse here in UK - and we had a great view from St. Irchley - a freezing cold clear night.....I spotted it starting - and whipped the duvet off the bed and we sat ourselves on the bench in the garden snuggled up underneath it - and had one of those 'once in a lifetime moments' together - and out of the (what can sometimes only be described as...) harsh daylight, and under the moonlight, (especially when it was fully obscured) I think he finally realised that I am indeed absolutely ravishing - he's taken his time, but coupled with the fact that he's way overdue for a Specsavers appointment - I was in the right place at the right time :-) ... which was probably more convenience for him? Start placing your bets.........



Then on Sunday to make the weekend complete, Sue (my rambler buddy) came round for a girlie afternoon, consuming lots of tea and a rather decadent piece of Sue's home made chocolate cake - whilst covering a broad range of contemporary topics such as men, thongs versus Bridget's in hill walking, men, mad cow knickers from Dorothy Perkins and men..... this is what weekends are all about!



On Tuesday Me n Peter had another 'nice' moment - went to see Einaudi at Symphony Hall - really unique haunting music from his new album Divenire - and we met up briefly with Rob, Issie Alex & Flips afterwards - all of us eulogising over his synthesiser... as you do.



On Wednesday me and Sue went to see Hot Fuzz - if you haven't been - don't bother - few titters but pretty dull really - unlike the meal afterwards in Chiquita's in Rubery - which was far from dull - again if you haven't been don't bother - they had no heating - and apparently hadn't had any all week? People were sat in their coats - I've never seen so many 'sizzling dishes being ordered with people warming their hands over them on the tables! The pecan pie came with an 8" long blonde hair - which was a nice finishing touch I thought!


Yesterday, I learned that I am officially getting old - I went to Specsavers - and have got to have a pair of glasses for driving and a separate pair for close work :-O. I've ordered pink ones for driving to match the car - so I wont get them mixed up - I refused to have bifocals - that's just a step too far at the moment :-)


Last night I took mom to see her fave Lenny Henry - he was excellent - you feel like you're sitting in his front room and find yourself answering his questions and nodding away and laughing as if he's asked YOU personally - brilliant!


Mrs Speich e-mailed me to say the wedding cake - cum house moving cake tasted as good as it looked - always a relief - and that she and her new husband ate the top of the cake - which as you will see is a 'house', and themselves and horses and gyrocopter in a rather unique ceremony in their new house once they got the keys - it does say in the pagan world, that part of releasing the past and moving ahead is to perform a simple ritual - and this was theirs :-)






Have a great weekend folks - welcome back to LASR of the Lakes :-)


Tomorrow, me and Peter are off on a roofing expedition - I am going to be his 'Anneka Rice' and we are going to rustle up a conservatory roof in an afternoon :-) - I'll see if I can get some shots for the Blog :-) He knows how to treat a woman eh?


Kimmie x

TGIF :-) 020307

Hi Friday peops
Just another normal week for me……
Sadly, my ‘Nigella’ moment has come to a temporary end…. Gerry & Jane were pleased with their wedding-cum-moving house cake – complete with gyrocopter – and 3 horses on top! See pics… so normal service is resumed – whatever ‘normal’ is for me :-)…..
Normal for me… is that my naughty video caller has been found – and arrested – and is (in police speak…) allegedly worried about how to tell his girlfriend that he lives with that he has been sending pictures of his willy to someone old enough to be his mother… methinks if girlfriend has half a brain – she will return him, lock stock and non-smoking barrel - to his mother – after having tied said willy in a very tight knot. Me…. I’m waiting for Manda to post some lamb tail trimmers from New Zealand in case I’m summoned to Court to give evidence. I am still waiting to be asked to an identity parade ;-) Mind you, while I try and make light, it still rankles and worries me a bit!
Jax – hoping to see Phil Collins tribute band – but he was poorly – and had morphed into a five (or more?) piece rock n roll band – who were still fab…boppable to…& fancy this???? I learned that Ray’s nephew Gary works at our place – and in fact my rather naughty spermatozoan earrings that I was wearing the very same evening were bought off Gary – he has an earring sideline – we all have sidelines in the NHS – it’s what pays our real wages…but hey, what a small world eh?.. not the sperm - I mean Gary….mind you….. AND I was treated not only to waking up to a waterfall in their back garden, but Jax cooked up a fab breakfast – for those who need the address of this hotel in the picturesque and peaceful Compton, get in touch and I’ll send you the details :-)Normal for me… is that Peter, my ‘Hot Stuff’ fire breathing Occupational Therapist has been providing a personal OT service for me all week – free of charge – I spent a day in his garage, helping him with his invention – cos he needed a car to test it out on – he only has a big throbbing thing – an ex BMW police bike - so in true Wallace & Gromit style (me being Gromit – the brains behind it all), can’t give too much away as I might have to shoot you – or eat the plans – we ended up raiding dad’s shed and creating a prototype using my little pink thing. I also went along to a ‘Yes’ group with him last night – how could I say no? and had a nice therapeutic moment with empowering positive minded people – and what I learned is that I’m OK… despite working for the NHS :-)

They have let me loose in the services too this week – so I have tried to introduce some ‘normality’ there too. I ‘helped’ out with some clinics – and shared my knowledge and experience with these hapless therapists – Heather, can you believe these OT’s drive up and down the motorways every day helping patients all over the West Midlands region and they didn’t even know they must wave at Eddie Stobart lorry drivers – don’t worry I soon put then right!

Have a fab weekend folks :-)

Kimmie x