Who remembers 'Heads, Shoulders, knees and toes....?

Or should that be nose?

Hi there Friday peops,

My body is falling apart…
But my daddy – the silly old fart,
Has made it his sole ambition,
to win this competition
So I trap a nerve between my toes
But he wins with a bloody great scab on his nose!

Yes – the competition is hotting up – I’ve been really fed up cos I have spent a small fortune these last few months getting new boots/insoles/socks/ energy fluids – anything to try and stop this excruciating pain in my feet – well, just my left foot – I read that once – fab book…..anyway nothing has worked until mum aka the ‘Oracle’ flicked through her pages of ‘self diagnosis and came up with a ‘Morton’s Neuroma’ – hey Heather, did you know you had a pain in the foot named after you!?

Anyway seems she’s right – and so have ended up having very painful physiotherapy from a lovely young thing on the local green, well in a shop off the green really…..and have another session planned for Wednesday. Daddy has a nasty infected hooter and is on antibiotics – and really feels rough – so between us we are two grumpy buggers!

I tried to cheer myself up when I was offered three free days on Dating Direct – I thought – go for it…. What a bloody waste it turned out to be! Free days my bottom! You could express your undying lust for someone but they couldn’t reply – and vice versa – until you coughed up £9 for a month! The only person who fancied me was Martin, who is a good mate – so when I contacted him directly by e-mail – he then tells me he’s just met someone and is hopeful it’ll work out – bloody good job I hung on to my pennies I say!!! Then I had the opportunity of setting my prospective love interests a quiz, so used some of their suggested standard questions…. and invented some of my own deep and meaningful ones, only to find that Dating Direct had a sense of humour failure and rejected my last question which was…. “What is the point of setting these questions, when I don’t know what your answers will be unless I cough up a tenner?”

Luckily I have some good mates who have kept my spirit (levels) up…..been to see Mama Mia with Alison – excellent ‘feel good’ film – will become a classic I reckon – still smiling now – very funny…. and laughter is the best medicine isn’t it? So on Saturday off I pop to an open air ‘Rock with Laughter’ concert at Ragley Hall with Jasper Carrott, rain, Lenny Henry, rain & Jo Brand – plus Elkie Brooks, (blimey she can hold a long note!), Bootleg Beatles, rain and the Manfreds with Sharpie and June – wasn’t rocking with laughter though when it took us an hour to get out of the grounds!! We had a great view of the stage - look at the pic!

The soggy weekend continued but became more luxurious……

I told everyone on Facebook I was looking forward to enjoying a date in a hot tub last night – and I did – it was a Sainsbury’s ‘Taste the Difference’ Medjool date – and very tasty it was too…..Numpty and I enjoyed them immensely - see the pics …at least you can rely on Sainsbury’s!

Sadly her hubby was having one of those hubby ‘sense of humour failures’ – I see them a lot – I think Portsmouth had lost…. I’m not sure that’s why all my friend’s hubby’s have a sense of humour failure – sometimes it’s for other reasons I think – or maybe they are all Portsmouth supporters?…..forever more they shall be known as that…. :-)

Anyway he failed to appreciate the time and effort we had taken in preparation - when we bravely and ceremoniously flashed opened our towels to proudly reveal our ‘Brazilians’ before we got in the hot tub……….OK – so see below for a pic of both our Brazilians - and maybe you too will have a sense of humour failure - bah humbug :-) as we both ceremoniously held them over our pubettes..... – well we thought it was funny….. I bet he’d be the sort to write that he had a GSOH in a ‘dating advert’ too :-D

Hope your week goes well……

Kimmie x

TGIF :-) 010808 More shady car park dealings.....

Hi Friday peops,

Had an ‘OK’ week – work busy but cakes finally coming to a slow down and back to normal rate so not quite so pooped. Last one for a while (Alan Shearer’s back) was handed over in the car park today – I’m surprised no-one has reported me yet for my shady car park dealings over the years! I shall miss Alan Shearer’s back – it’s the first time I’ve fallen in lust with a cake – all that massaging of his shoulders to get the ‘look’ right :-)

My funniest moment (funny now but not then) was years ago when I worked at City Hospital and my line manager Jacqui’s husband called me at work – had never met him but he knew I made cakes – aaaah OK….and wanted a surprise 40th cake for her – so after a few text exchanges we met in the one place we both knew because he lived the other side of Brum… pitch black…. car park of Penns Hall Hotel in Sutton Coldfield… did the usual boot opening and exchange of monies and off we both go – except I don’t - because I didn’t have the code for the exit barrier – so had to wait sheepishly until someone came along and released me!

I’ve had a bit of a guilt trip this week – once I’d started catching up on myself, I realised I had missed Claudia’s first birthday in New Zealand – felt awful - posted late card and pressie and e-mailed my apologies…. then felt so much better when Manda replied that she’d forgotten it too – only realised later that night when playing catch up with Rich - just as well Claudia was well chuffed with her weetabix that morning and Sam & Lucia singing her happy birthday! Promise I’ll try and do better next year!

Spent another shadowy moment but not so dark and mysterious this time..... shadowing a shift with one of our senior physioterrorists this week – she’s always great to spend time with, as her approach with all the clients and their partners and co. is a joy to watch. Her Odstock stimulators can improve peoples’ conditions – and it’s really great to see them walking out of the clinic with confidence after often stumbling through the door on their way in. One of the most rewarding clinics to boost you up… so when I also read this in Readers Digest in the bath that night it made me smile…..

Have a fab weekend – I’m off on a bimble on Sunday in Melbourne, Derbyshire – while Issie, Rob & gang are in another Melbourne down under - wonder who will have the better weather?

Kimmie x

…Sitting in the waiting area at an eye clinic, I could catch some of the conversation in the examining room.
An elderly lady was wheeled in for her appointment and I heard the doctor ask gently if she could read a card the nurse was holding up.
The woman did not respond.
“Can you see the letters on the card?”
No response.
“Can you see the letters the nurse is holding?”
No response.
“Can you see how many fingers the nurse is holding up?”
No response.
“CAN YOU SEE THE NURSE?”

TGIF :-) Kim emerges from the cake zone...........

Yo Friday peops

I have been in the cake zone for the last three weeks – so my little flours, “oh crumbs” I hear you all say – what a half baked excuse for not keeping you up to dates with the latest fruity and eggciting news from St. Irchley?!...... but truth be told, I’ve been really ‘upside down’ and pretty much stuck to my kitchen floor…. quite literally – Nigella manages to make baking look sexy but...ter.. all I manage is to look like Mrs Overall in my ‘pinnie’ – that icing sugar gets everywhere…..and I mean everywhere :-?

It has been so manic that it has been touch and go whether the right cakes went to the right people….. these brides who want ‘something different’ - the wedding cake was 32 mini cakes topped with a surprise dragon….

and was being made at the same time as a ‘Peppa Pig’ for a 4 year old… they both managed to get the right cakes – but not before some late night otoplasty (posh for ear surgery) when Peppa’s ear fell off…… then there was Alex’s archery target for her 19th birthday which was around the same time as a ‘Tardis’ to feed 80 – for a 40th birthday party – well, I got confused and thought it was for an 80th to feed 40 …. fortunately double checked and the guy who was ordering the cake on behalf of his friend thought this was very amusing and corrected me…..yeah right….plonker – I get a text later on – thanking me for the cake – but his friend is 30…. so the Tardis is transported back to me – in the boot of a car rather than flying through St. Irchley’s time and relative dimension air space and some running repairs were hastily made.

Meanwhile….Stella asks me to help out with Tracey’s 40th birthday cake – and since she is spoiling Dennis rotten and a fab neighbour, I duly oblige and Tracey is chuffed…………. then finally a Sooty birthday cake for Sean’s surprise 40th – however it turned out no longer to be a surprise and Sean had man flu so couldn’t swallow – so cake went uncut……but was great to see some old faces – and the light is finally showing at the end of the tunnel…. a cake that I am rather enjoying at the moment is an ‘Alan Shearer’ shirt – I am doing it so his back is facing upwards and putting the marzipan on last night was wonderful – I felt much more like Nigella massaging Shearer’s shoulders…. Heaven!!

Here is my Facebook link.... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=45995&l=1c43d&id=648607651

I managed to get some ‘me time’ last weekend and got a couple of great bimbles in – Gary leading – two ten milers – with Sunday’s lavender fields tour ending up in a girlie hot tub moment with Gail and Rachel – and sending the boys photos of us on our mobiles gloat gloat…. thankfully the pics would me small enough not to see my double chins and rosy nosy! Look carefully at the one bottom right - see the UFO reflected in the window floating across taking shots of us :-)

Attacking the garden this weekend – so some garden shearer and maybe a few more Alan Shearer moments…….have a good un folks

Kimmie x

TGIM :-) It's my birthday - and I'm flying... with my waterwings....

Hi folks

How are you all doing?

Thanks for all your ‘dad’ stuff – I’ve passed your helpful suggestions and kind wishes on – his hole is healing up – which is good cos he was out in the rain this week and it became a lake! It’s more of a puddle size now – he’s grateful for your sound advice about not picking his nose in case his finger popped out, and he’s taken in good part some of the suggestions about how to turn him into a carrier bag with handles :-)….. we could have used him as a ten-pin bowling ball I guess too?

So, it’s my birthday today and the guys at work think I’m wonderful cos I took them a huge tiramisu in – and my neighbours have had some, Numpty and mom and dad have all had some –they were really meant for Gail’s Bar-B-Q – but cos her dad is poorly they were donated nearer to home. So let’s all get our positive vibe hats on and think about Gail and her dad (and mom).

I’ve had some tasteful birthday presents – like a pink ‘Princess’ car seat cover (thanks mom) and a frog which turns into a prince when you dunk him under water and some red baff gel which I shall use to bathe in tonight, and ‘beer goggles’ (thanks Numpts) which I’m sure will come in useful :-) I’ve also had some amazing jewellery and other wonderful stuff too – so all in all been spoilt again – thanks peops x

Weekend was spent with girlie sleepover at Numpts (she was only after some of the Tiramisu when she heard Gail had baled). She’s dead posh now and was having their hot tub delivered – so I went suitably attired in my water wings, carrying my inflatable beach ball! Sunday morning we were having our usual hungover Wii tournament and Numpts wasn’t quick enough to stop me when the delivery arrived and I ran to the door in my waterwings and shouted “I’m ready!!”

Poor soul was speechless :-O and so was the delivery boy :-D

Me and Numpts in the posh tub...............

See ya folks

Kimmie x

Top bumper stickers seen around the world

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Don't Be Sexist - Birds Hate That

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

Grow your own dope --- Plant a man.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

TGIS :-) The Good, Bad and Ugly......

Hi Friday peops

It’s a mixed week, with the good, bad and the ugly… and wedgies are ugly……….

The bad….It didn’t start well – in the kitchen – Monday night – washing up – and the drainer had a mind of it’s own and was flipping the crocks as I put them on – like one of those tennis balls machines…. “Let’s see if she can catch this one… “ type thing!

Anyway I didn’t and smashed a tumbler to smithereens and then promptly trod on it and danced round for the rest of the week with a glass splinter between my toes, managing to squeeze it out at work – not easy on a castered chair…. I can still get my legs into an interesting position though - you’re getting the picture…

Tuesday morning went to put Dennis’ breakfast down and he beat me to it with my tip toe glass splintered manoeuvres so I ended up throwing it up the wall….late for work excuse number one ….

Wednesday morning, neighbour – lost her tongue a while back – was up for sale - seems now to be staying put cos of credit crunch or the fact that she’s probably had to declare that she’s living next to nut case is staying put and has employed team of ‘builders bum’ guys to landscape back garden - block my hummer in with their truck – late for work excuse number two….

Finally - I learned that one of the nicest smiliest lance corporals - Richard Larkin - from my ol’ TA days got blown up in Afghanistan and then dad’s scabby bonce has turned out to be basal cell carcinoma… bugger!! He's had one before tho' so we're quite philosophical.

The good…. I have baked 4 cakes and the house smells lovely – but it’s a nightmare being surrounded by cake and not (allegedly your honour) eating any of it! I’m in the middle of a wedding cake and Peppa Pig – Peppa Pig – honestly – I only keep up with the sproglets latest dudes through my cake making! There are highlights on my Facebook profile – BB house – ‘Big Baking House – breaking news and everything! How exciting!!

The ugly – is that today I went on the high ropes in Streetly – well, I laughed so much – but not half as much as when I got home and downloaded the photos……see the pics – oh dear – talk about wedgies!! For full effect zoom in on the last one :-)

And on that note…

Have a great week folks.

Kimmie x

Friends are like wedgies…..they know your inner self. They’re intimately close… and it feels great when you pick out a good one…. :-)

Night Night Pop Larkin – save me a place ;'-/

TGIF :-) Hearts and Heads Rule!

Hi Friday peops

Did you miss me?

I was up in Patterdale again – gorgeous little village near Ullswater Lake. Had a fab long weekend with the SPICE gang – strode across striding edge - first time I've done Helvellyn since I was a kid! Enjoyed several romantic ‘Ken & Dawn’ moments as they celebrated their engagement – with an amazing special ring – it’s amazing – it’s invisible - see pic :-) Apparently he keeps blowing the ring budget on flasks to make his new fiancée hot drinks for the hills, fleece tops to keep his new fiancée warm and………… :-)

aaaah....

There were bottles of champers hidden in tarns, ‘Last Rolo’ moments on the hills, pre dinner drinkies, and I made them a cake – from the heart – shaped like a heart. I do enjoy my cake making tho it does get a bit sticky in the kitchen! In fact tonight I’ve just steamed my kitchen floor – as I had to have the plumber in today – big leak in the kitchen – and after his ‘head stuck under my sink’ moment he peeled himself off the floor with this sort of slurping cum ripping sound looking to see where the noise was coming from – so I knew I had to do something!

In the week dad had a biopsy taken of his bonce after the hole he’d dug in it didn’t heal very well – it’s the gardener in him I reckon – he will keep digging! Anyway they forgot to stop his warfarin and on Wednesday morning he got up and like a scene from ‘Carrie’ had developed his very own bright red water feature on his bonce – again it’s the gardener in him… and was once again decorating the house – he’s getting quite good at this now!! Naturally by the time we arrived at A & E it had stopped – phew!! I think they were in two minds whether to call in social services as I don’t think mom hid the axe quick enough and her cover story to the paramedics was quite amateur considering she’s such a fan of ‘NCIS’ !:-D Hopefully the mobile phone photos will diminish now it has slowed up – it’s very off putting when you’re in a meeting and a picture of a scab is sent through!! Yes honestly! (Thanbks mom!) Mind you I have to admit I took this shot of him in A & E!

Weds night the ‘Phil Palmer’ groupies went to see him ‘Singin in the Rain’ at the Crescent preceded by rather a lot of pasta and pizza – was great to see the kids - new teacher Nicole again – and catch up with Jenny – the kids actually arrived on time – it’s sort of sad when they grow up and start being grown up isn’t it ;-) …and last night I met up with an old friend from student nurse training days - accompanied by a rather large burger moment in Moseley first! So bit of a bloater tonight…Planning on doing the John Williams night out at Symphony Hall in October if anyone wants to join us?

This weekend I mostly be sleeping!

Have a great weekend folks

Me x

TGIF :-) Morris Minor moment in Sedgley

Hi TGIFers,

I’ve just tripped up the stairs - clonked my elbow and twisted my ankle - running to answer the phone – marvellous!! Doesn’t bode well for a weekend in Derby doing a 14 and 11 miler… AND it was before my first glass of wine - oops :-/

Last Saturday I drove mom and dad to the farmers market – only to find (for the second time….) that it wasn’t there – we’ll get it right one of the days!! I think they just wanted a drive out in Mattie - and a bit of my excellent company, so as not to disappoint them I drove them back to my house and put them to work in the garden! Dad excavated a tiger grass which had become triffid like in nature – kept him out of trouble for a bit – with his hammer and chisel (yes honestly) – and mom set to with her secateurs for a spot of topiary – the poor Yew indeed does look like a ‘poor me’. I ended up with about 12 bags of green stuff for recycling – and for those of you who know how big my garden is – that IS my garden!!

Last night I went for my annual Morris dancing ‘fix’ with Nessa’s Dave (aka ‘Morris’).

Following last year’s initiation I wore my sports bra this time :-)……

As usual my sense of direction failed me – and I was skipping off in the wrong direction – so much so that I completely lost my group as I careered off to the other side of the hall waving my sticks around oblivious to the fact that they had gone round the other way! I was all alone in my own little Morris world – brilliant – a ‘kind’ Morris dancer said “I don’t think anyone noticed…..” Yeah right….

I did ask the Morris Dancer taking the shots to try and make sure my nose didn't look too big - think you'll agree he did a grand job!! Make sure you check out the video clips at the end.

Me & Linda

It’s birthday week this week – wee Sam down under and right a bit is four now – happy birthday Sammy, and dad is 77 today! Bless – I know how to irritate him – I got him a birthday card which was a puzzle he had to put together – with no picture - kept him quiet – see pic! Funny how his cards all seem to have an ‘old fart’ theme :-)

Anyway I’m going to limp off to my bath now and hope this ankle doesn’t let me down in Derby and that I manage to have a Ding Dong of a weekend :-)

Have a good un folks x