Last 2007 Blog - Happy New Year :-)

Hi Friday peops

Late TGIF again – few decent excuses tho’…. Christmas slob out, Knackering Knickers traumas, bulbous problems and rucks with my rucksack!!

Christmas day was lovely – fed the old uns –think I maybe did overdo the sugar as mom has had a funny tummy ever since! The ‘Britain’s Best Dish menu’ went down a treat – the Tiddy Oggies, slow cooked pork and apple pie were rather delish tho I say so myself. Lovely pressies too – lots of fab stuff to take on hols – and a humungous pink leather overnight bag from Numpts – almost too good to use – big enough to smuggle her to NZ in – think that was the thought!

Knickers-wise I’m doomed to be going commando in New Zealand – you know you’ve got to have new knickers to take on holiday haven’t you – but the Primark ones ripped as I tried to get them up my legs – so I gave them away to two smaller bummed girls at work – but they also cut their blood supplies off – so treated myself to a couple of new pairs of sponge bob specials - decided to up the size – my arse is now built for comfort y’see – but spotted some lovely ‘short style’ ones in the sale yesterday – got them home and they were just huge Bridgets – bugger! So y’see I think it’s commando now….



Christmas bulbs eh? My amaryllis is proving interesting – at 76cm (30 inches in old money…) it has started to move – first it was just seeking out the light, then it got bolder…. it got a scared during Dr Who’s Christmas special and headed for the window, by bed time it was at right angles and in the morning had a distinct case of Amaryllis

Brewer’s droop – so has spent the rest of the festive season propped up against various bits of furniture – a little the worse for wear – I know how it feels!...and so does Numpty - having confessed her own Christmas special Kamikaze nose dive onto her nephew on the sofa - ending up wearing her dinner – don’t you just love those Sherry moments… hic! Sadly no pics of Numpts – no-one was quick enough :-(

Now it’s not an understatement to say I have unpacked and repacked ol’ rucky about a dozen times – it’s such a faff having to put all liquid lotions and potions in a resealable bag – then measure and weigh hand luggage and the like – I dare say I will have one more ‘dry run’ before Saturday J two of everything is what I have decided – one on and one stinking the rucky out… I’m going to look like Michelin man with the amount of stuff I’m wearing just in case my luggage goes walkabout at Thiefrow…. So folks you have a quiet month ahead – if I get chance I’ll post stuff on the Blog – all I know is there are 11 of us – and I start in Auckland and end up in Christchurch – and after one final meal I then head off to Canterbury to bug Manda & Rich for the week – it all seems a little unreal at the moment – but this time next week I’ll be up in the air somewhere…. Hopefully.

So take care now and hope you have a great start to 2008 – see some of you at COBS tomorrow night

Kimmie x

Saw this in the Readers Digest…. Thought it was appropriate…

A neurotic friend of mine left some emotional baggage unattended at Heathrow Airport…. It caused a massive insecurity alert……

Kim's Xmas Newsletter 2007......Yule see it's fab!!!

Bournville in Feb

Hi folks – hope 2007 has been a good one for you all – as usual here it has been a rollercoaster – mind you I reckon it’s the same for a lot of us these days? I’ve still managed to condense it onto one side of A4! Without the ups and downs, we wouldn’t appreciate the ups! Dad lost his sister - my Aunty Joyce at the beginning of the year – and a cousin lost her hubbie too – but on the bright side we got to meet up with the family!

I know you’re always dying to know whether I’ve found Mr Right, so I’ll put you out of your misery early on – No :-) ….had an interesting time trying tho’! Had two real & two virtual men tho’ none from this planet! It started & ended with mobile phone willy pictures…..

January saw the start of me receiving naughty pictures of someone’s willy on my mobile over the next few months – nicknamed him Mobi Dick – & resigned myself to the fact that maybe that’s all I could attract this year… however he got caught & arrested & they stopped….so thought I’d try the dating agency again – met Andy – advertised himself as fit, attractive & sporty – this was short-lived – turned out ‘Lardy arse’ was less than honest in his description & a control freak – tried to stop me watching reality TV – it was more ‘real’ than he was!...

Then there was Peter – bless – after I’d helped him lay his (very long) hedge, fix his mom’s conservatory roof, tidy his mom’s garden & drove it all to the dump, I had a ‘ping’ moment – I was his Tuesday & Thursday skivvie, so…..dumped him, not before I’d given him a list of local workmen (I’m not that harsh y’see!) I should have known better when my first (and only) gift was a book on ‘How to kick the chocolate habit’ – what is it with these men who want to change us middle aged women?? So it was back to computer land and I find an ex from 1984 on Facebook!! We chatted on line and exchange texts, & then (a now very!) distant cousin (also on Facebook) coyly admitted that they had been exchanging titillating mobile messages – & she got scared after he started sending pics of his willy – so y’see – either I’m out of touch with this weird modern world or still remain a ‘Knob head’ magnet -literally! Answers on a postcard please… I know that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus…. but the ones I attract seem to be on a space ship orbiting both?

I’m into recycling big time now – I have got myself a wormery and a butt – water that is – though from the pic above left you can see I seem to be acquiring the other variety nicely thank you….
It was mom’s turn to give us a scare this year – back in April got admitted with a suspected DVT – turned out it wasn’t (phew!) but not before she’d spent a week being shoved from pillar to post, sometimes without a bed to lie in –Sometimes she got no food because she was ‘in the wrong part of the ward??’ then when she did it was served on a dressing trolley – see pic left - which doubled as a linen trolley too! Ashamed that it was the hospital where I trained – but seems to be the norm these days. She pretty much discharged herself a week later – you really wouldn’t believe the stuff that went on – or maybe you would?

Talking of the NHS, I am still hard at it trying to stay sane in the ever sillier world of Risk Managing and Health & Safety…. I have been doing clinical shifts to keep my hand in and loving that side of things – not so much enjoying the desk jockey side of things – targets/government bureaucracy/boxes to tick etc. I have found I am using one word a lot more than ever this year – and that is ‘Bollox’! It’s a lovely tension relieving word tho’ when said with feeling! Unfortunately my managers have not quite got the same sense of humour as me, and I am currently being admonished for my sometimes ‘aggressive and cynical’ approach……so y’see those of you who haven’t seen me in a while now know I haven’t changed, however my managers are keen to send me somewhere to change me it seems? Any ideas folks?

The year was pleasantly hectic too – I hit 46, waaaay over middle age really…. Alex turned 18 & is working hard at B’ham Conservatoire. (Vheck out her 18th birthday tribute back in July's Blogs). She invited me to her A’ level recital & told me I was to wear purple as that was the theme - I looked great in my rambling fleece while everyone else was in evening wear!!! Thanks Alex! Philip is also still doing well – mom and I went to see him in concert at the newly refurb’ed Town Hall this week. SPICE pals Andy & Bex/Gerri & Jane got married – I did the wedding cake for G & J. Sean & Sue had Emily. Kiwis Rich & Manda also produced - Claudia – a sister for Sam & Lucia, who I shall be meeting in January. I got struck by a thunderbolt in July (thought I’d throw that in to see if you were still awake). Fortunately only killed the house alarm & computer – I was out at the time walking in Belbroughton watching the storm over Birmingham from the hills! I’ve done loads of fun things too – including Dhol drumming & Morris Dancing – see the April 25th Blog - with my friend’s hubbie Dave (I called him ‘Morris’ for years!), and loads more pics. I have done loads more walking & spent a few weekends away – Ullswater, Lee Bay & Minehead walking – getting fit for my Exodus trip in January (thanks mom & dad) in New Zealand for 23 days then 7 days with my Kiwi pals – can’t wait!

If it's your first time checking this out after your Crimbo card, jus to let you know I’m also on Facebook – the weird Ex’s willy hasn’t put me off and am in touch with lots of old friends – including the raft guide from my 1994 trip down the Zambezi would you believe!!

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and that 2008 is a good year for you all and your families and nearest and dearest.
Love from Kimmie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Blah Blah Blah Bah Humbug :-/

Hi Friday peops

Sorry you missed me last week – and thank you for the 0.05% of the TGIF crowd checking to see whether I was still alive – indeed, thank you Herty boy and Steve!

In fact I had a bummer of a sore throat – three bloody weeks now - and so couldn’t use the keyboard - you know how it is!

Truth be told I was reading through some of the annual Xmas newsletters I get and fell asleep….. much like I guess the poor sods who receive mine will do!! I’ll be posting a copy on the Blog over the weekend…..zzzzz. Actually it was quite good fun condensing a year into one side of A4 – unlike one of my old friends who managed to fill two sides of A4 with kids, chicken pox, 6 year old birthday parties, swimming badges, farm visits, monthly weather forecasts, incoming tide stories, and Grandpa’s successful operation – flitting between it being in the third and first person! Thank goodness they had a new printer which they hadn't sussed out yet, so I didn’t get the usual photo collage of the exciting growth spurts that they have experienced! Thank you Jean for yours – succinct and happy news plus a hot pot recipe – my kind of newsletter - welcome to TGIF land!! Karen – how are the boys – a sentence is not good enough…. :-) kidding – good to know you are still out there!

So because I didn’t have a better response, I shall waffle on until my sore throat stops my fingers working!

Last Monday I spent the evening drinking Numpts under the settee – well not quite under – as it was a tussle with Ben (pooch) about who could spread the furthest on it – and I have the bruises (3) to prove it – God I’m starting to sound like that bloody newsletter!

Then, Tuesday was spent in Worcester Christmas shopping – we filled four carriers in the first two shops (well, one of them was an old fashioned sweetie shop!!) The ‘boy’ behind the counter probably wasn’t even born when half these sweets he was selling were invented! Every shop we went into had different style Xmas deer ornaments – so I’d start “Oh deer…” and Numpts would see a whole herd clustered on a shelf and would be saying “Oh deer deer deer…” then I noticed how bloody expensive they were, and I said “this is a dear deer” and she said “there’s a dearer deer ere.” Maybe you had to be there? I was exhausted that night – the excitement I think – I’ve not done ‘Park & Ride’ (not ‘Ring and Ride’ – not yet anyway!) It was great leaving the car behind and at the end of a long day heading back and realising maybe it wasn’t such a good idea Numpts driving her MG – we might have had more boot in my pink thing… Just have a look at this amazing place!! The sky was bettert han chicken licken days.... the posh worcester people at the Park and Ride were quietly musing that Numpts was accompanying me on day release I think!

Went to see Phil play with the Schools Orchestra at Brum Town Hall with mom – excellent – and Friday eve spent catching up with old junior school pal Joy for a curry. It’s great at Crimbo catching up – except I was so knackered after coughing for the last two weeks that I think Charlie had enough last night with our annual Yule catch up! Sorry Charlie - let's meet in the spring next time when I'm still bushy tailed! Well done on your new job too!

Last Saturday night was fab – at the Burlington – poshed up with the SPICE crowd – we had a smashing table – Mike was an excellent host – and thanks to one really ugly bugger the rest of us girls looked great ;-) we missed Jane tho – so me and Jane shall be giving it large on new years eve instead! We danced and danced and I did my usual impression of Mrs Overall all day Sunday! I’m too old for this stuff :-(

I must have been drunk tho – I was there…..’Kimbo akimbo’ giving it “oops upside your head…”:-( .............see the pics....

So this week has been full of pink hand-bag cake for Claire – happy birthday for the weekend!

She happened to praise my cakes on Facebook, and always one to respond to compliments I offered to make one for her birthday not realising it was the week before Christmas, so everything in the house is now covered in a layer of pink icing dust – floor, tree, me, etc etc, There are Xmas presents, wrapping and New Zealand kit strewn across the house! I lost my purse for 3 days and found it in with the bird feed in the sun lounge!? (as you do)… then Clare at work made me a Xmas pudding which I also lost for two days – then found it in the car…. So Sarah there is something in the air – glad you found your mobi!

Hope you and yours have a fabulous Yule – there will hopefully be one more TGIF before I head down under for the month on Jan 5th to New Zealand – yeeeehaaaaaa!

So it may be quiet for a while unless I manage to get on the Blog and keep you updated?

Take care now folks

Love from Kimmie x

My impression of four of the seven dwarves...........

Hi peops,

I’m late sending this out again cos I’m not well………..I guess I asked for it – after taking the Michael out of all the boys I know who have been suffering with ‘Man flu’ – and sending the cheeky ‘Man flu’ video on Facebook…..it’s my destiny - but I want you boys to know that this isn’t just ANY cold, this is an M & S cold – miserable and snotty – it has affected my tonsils and so makes yawning painful – so probably it’s a good job I’m not going out with any of the boring farts I usually pick up cos it’d be right painful at the moment ;-)

So….the impression of Dopey, Sneezy, Sleepy and Grumpy are pretty good – shame I’m not on the Royal Variety show tonight – don’t forget to look out for Little Howard.. if you pick this up in time.

Anyway, I know you’re dying to hear about the exciting week I’ve had. I did my radio interview at the beginning of the week - thankfully I didn’t sound like this – all hoarse – neigh neigh and thrice neigh……….. I felt afterwards I said a lot of ‘erms’ but Waseem’s son Khi is too polite to erm… say anything. So I’m hoping I’ll get a slot now on Parkinson’s last show…..

Work wise I am still managing to keep my counsel, however the BIG Boss returns from holiday this week so that should be interesting…. Place your bets ladies and gentlemen…. Can she hold out? I did really well - only one big Trust meeting this week, and I was 5 minutes late – and you know when everyone glares at you, and then the Chair commented that some people had indicated that they didn’t know me, so as I squeezed in to the already full table, zipping my bag open zzzzzzzzip, zzzzzzzzzzzzzip, zzzzzzzip, and sat down, I had to listen to everyone introducing themselves – I always get a mental picture of ‘Blind Date’…. “Hello Number One, what’s your name and where do you come from?....” and after listening to all the names and ever more imaginative NHS job titles, I popped my glasses on as I introduced myself and couldn’t see a bloody thing – one of the lenses had popped out – and I’m not sure whether that has ever happened to any of you – but it’s impossible to see anything – so while I’m looking round at everyone and telling them my name and job title, I’m winking each eye in turn and frowning at them all – fabulous first impression – guess my Boss is right – I am indeed destined to stay on the middle rung of the eternal career ladder – am I bovered?

As I write this, I only have 26 days, 18 hours, 20 minutes and 58 seconds until my state visit to New Zealand. I guess the press will be waiting for me at the airport – especially if they get wind of my radio interview….. hope you’re all OK and getting into the festive spirit, or just the spirit at any rate!

Till next week………..

Kimmie x

A man with flu is talking on the phone (all sweaty and red-eyed)
Three weeks!!! The doctor can see me only in three weeks?!!! By that time I can be dead!!!
A calm voice on the other end: - In this case, have you wife call us and cancel the appointment.

Loyal variety thoughts.....

Hiya weekend peops

Couldn’t be bovered on Friday night – you know how it is – I am soooo tired -) ……so here is a belated TGIF!

Yup - three weeks to go and I’m seriously needing to get into festive spirit methinks - this burning the candle at both ends really doesn’t work for me any more – unless it’s thermo-auricular therapy….. of course ;-)

Last weekend’s steamy ramble with Gary was great – really blew the cobwebs out – got to ride the choo choo and yomp through very muddy fields for 10 miles – I was around 6 foot tall by the end of it – mud sticks – as they say ;-)

Then I’m, afraid I have been out twice in the week – and as some of you know when you get to this age that this sort of behaviour cannot be tolerated as it wipes you out for a fortnight, so sproglets be warned….

Tuesday night - brilliaaaaaant - with Pat & Clive – Comedy Club – Howard Read played with his Little Howard – follow the links - apparently he’s playing the Royal Variety show tomorrow night so was testing his repertoire on us – he was excellent – as per – and just the tonic to see me through the rest of my week at work. Look out for it in December – I'll remind you - it’s really unique and clever comedy.

Then Thursday night went with Jane and a bunch of other SPICERs to see Roy Wood at the Jam House …. just to see my baby jive……YAY….and stayed up past the witching hour and think I am still suffering – knees and feet have recovered and bags under eyes are shrinking gradually…. He was brilliant though – still got a great stage presence – fab venue too.

So it was with much relief that an invitation to Issie’s mom and dad’s Golden Wedding anniversary do was for the afternoon yesterday…. phew! I’d spent the week lovingly making their cake – then sweating all the way through their do – hoping it was edible – it was – phew again!


I felt quite honoured – as I’m not ‘family’ – though in these days of extended families, Issie’s sister – ‘Auntie Helen’ has discovered she is distantly related to the guy she is seeing – so maybe I am a third cousin twice removed – I know I’ve had something removed this weekend!

Issie and Rob have been loyal friends (yes I have a handful) – mind you – not sure they will be after they’ve read this?

It was great fun – like a fly on the wall docu-soap :-D.

Alex and Flips’ cousins - picture a bunch of kids and teenagers – blasting from front to back of the house like whirling dervishes - a ‘Kevin and Perry’, a ‘Chuckie’ (who hadn’t taken his Ritalin) breaking the legs off antique dolls and walking round giggling sinister-like, a little China doll of a 3 year old (who thankfully Chuckie didn’t try and break the legs off…), and her slightly bigger brother - 'road runner', then our very own Tasmin Little (girlie Yehudi - Alex) played a little number on the violin which we then bluetoothed to each other (oh these modern times….), a pretty little Rock Chick cadged fags off the grown ups, and Flips trying to watch the Barbarians in the corner of the room – soon a crowd of men and boys stood strong together! Aunty Helen caused a bit of a stir when she gave ‘Kevin’ an unprovoked wedgie cos his jeans were hanging below his kegs – his baseball hat and facial piercings sort of spun on the spot :-D (Kids fashions eh – and they laugh at our 70’s photos - pah! What’s all that about?)

Seriously though – what an amazing feat to get all the family together – they were a great bunch and made me feel very welcome.
Shame we don’t get together like that now in our gang! It would end up on News at Ten – there would be outrage and violence in the streets calling for all my politically incorrect Uncles, Aunties, cousins and me to be lashed - let alone a Docu soap!

Anyway, off to catch 40 winks so I can last out till the Strictly Dancing results!

I’m being interviewed for a top radio station tomorrow night – I’m hoping to be discovered – it’ll probably be edited down to “Hello….” And “Thank-you” – will keep you posted ;-)

Loves ya

Kimmie x

Herty Boy – glad to hear that your ‘Too Loose’ trip (and it was wasn’t it??) ended up OK! Sharpie & Junie – did you manage to smuggle Jamie Oliver into your bag and bring him home?

Golden Wedding Anniversary
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town.
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man.
"We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by pack mule. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.
My wife quietly said, 'That's once.'
"We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time.
My wife quietly removed a revolver from her pocket and shot the mule dead.
"I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, 'That's once'."