TGIF :-) Sharpie cupboard love & bread and butter responses

Hi Friday peops
Very unusual last weekend - spent with Sharpie - in a wardrobe - or two - the first was built without beer - the second with.... Apparently they are still standing this evening, even with all those big knickers hanging in there.... so all is well in Sharpie's Ikea World :-)

Now you see her..... Now you don't....

We then went to Richard Branson's steam room and spa pools on the Sunday to get over the aches and pains of hammering the tacks in with a spanner - tho most of the aches were from laughing... so nuff said - see the pics.

Went to say a final goodbye to Paul on Wednesday - the Crem' was packed out - very popular and good all round chap - a fun service - our family are getting quite good at funerals - was great to see all the cousins - and meet Tracy's new man - John - he's a good 'un - we had some philosophical discussions afterwards about whether we would take our mums and dads in when they are older, and bless - John's so kind - he's quite happy to take his future mother-in-law in when she's 75 - apparently he was thinking of the free TV licence? Cheered myself up a bit by going to the flicks with Sue in the evening - Wild Hogs - and had a curry afterwards....

Mom was 71 yesterday - so had take out number 2 - a Chinese - and had it delivered - and in her eagerness to dish it out while hot - I ended up with dad's, me with mom's and she with mine - so there was a gradual realisation after we scoffed half of the meal - followed by a lot of guilty tossing of prawns and chopping and changing of chop sueys - which was quite funny - in the process mom shouted at me (as they do) cos I splashed the table cloth - but as I pointed out - it was really dad's fault - cos it was his chop suey....even though I threw it.

Tonight went for a quick blat around Earlswood lakes with Sarah - who is on tenterhooks about the bread question she tossed into the forum ;-) The bluebells are all out - so a pretty blue haze - which may explain why we got a bit lost - and had a surreal moment when out of the blue haze a huge black and white Dalmation coloured Great Dane bounded towards us - looked like he was in the 'wrong film' - then got home and Sue came round and we had take out No 3 - chippie - and pie - eating them out of the paper - with a glass of white wine, followed by a box of chocolates while watching the DVD 'Chocolat'. -We know how to live in St. Irchley ;-D She just called a taxi - and goodness knows how they knew - but they sent a people carrier to take her home - so if any of you felt a tremor around 2200 GMT - that was Sue heading home......
Have a fab sunny weekend
Kimmie x

Bread and butter responses - or should I say "Doh!".... Get it?

Kings Norton - Matt: Soldiers have to be toasted!!! Mmmm I might go and get a boiled egg with soldiers. Just the one side for me! Too messy otherwise and I’m watching my figure. This is a good question, See it’s nice to eat toast hot – however if you leave toast to cool down before buttering then it tends to be nice and crunchy. Tough one that.

Solihull - Andy & Bex:Andy - Toasted, Both slices, Either Becky Toasted, One Slice, Hot Hope that settles it :oD

New Zealand - Sam: Soldiers start of as raw bread when you are young, then you progress to toast the older you get! Thats if you care to admit that still eat soldiers and egg!!Bread should be buttered on both slices, cos otherwise your filling will drop out, cos it doesn't have anything to cling to!!Toast most certainly should be hot when you butter it, so it can melt and be all yummy!!

Rowley Regis - Sean & Sue: Here are the results of the Rowley Regis jury!!
Norway...null points...oops sorry getting confused...
1. When we talk about soldiers dipped in that runny yolk - are soldiers toasted or just 'raw' bread? Not that I like runny yolk, it must be toasted soldiers surely, raw bread would be just disgusting!!
2. When we have a sandwich - do we spread butter on one side of the slice of the bread or on both slices? Not sure what you're actually asking here:If you're saying, butter on one side or both sides of each slice of bread then, one side of course, both is simply wierd (unless you're doing a toasted sandwich in your Breville!!) but if you're saying butter on one side of one slice or on one side of both slices, then I don't see how it matters, but I butter one side of both slices.
3. Is it proper for toast to still be hot when we spread our butter on it at breakfast or should it be cold? Toast still to be hot so that the butter spreads more easily and melts into the bread. If toast has gone cold then you can get clumps of butter in places with dry toast elsewhere.

Sutton Coldfield - Margaret: 1) Depends on how your parents served them to you as a child, either are yummy,
2) ONE SIDE ...........Buttered inside a normal sandwich and outside for a TOASTIE
3) PERSONAL CHOICE - I prefer mine warm so the butter doesn't melt
One thing is for sure though................... if you drop your toast on the floor, it will always land BUTTERED SIDE DOWN.

Sutton Coldfield: Margaret's other half: http://www.icons.org.uk/nom/nominations/eggandsoldiers

And my favourite - Hertfordshire - the lovely Owen: As for the bread stuff, do either Sarah or Garry live in one of those strange Dr Who-type parallel universes - you know - where things seem OK at first , but then you find all sorts of disturbing differences.

Anyway, here goes Soldiers: I'd find it impossible to stick anything floppy into something warm and runny. No fun at all for anyone. I expect any soldier would tell you that. Sandwich: not really worth answering. I suppose this relates to minimalist design and lifestyle not having a kitchen table and making up a sandwich on your other hand- you can butter the first slice, add the filling, but there's nowhere to butter the second slice.The answer? Doh! Butter one slice, add the filling to one half and fold it over. Or is it that you've only one knife and dont want to get marmite in the utterly butterly. (for that - and I know this involves a challenging amount of planning - do all the bread FIRST - dont work it out as you go along). However I have a reference to back up the both slices position. It's a guide the British Council (no less) proved to Koreans on british culture. Interestingly, never order a club sandwich in the USA. It's about 6 inches thick and you can't take out the middle slice cos it's got butter on BOTH sides Hot and cold: I think choosing cold toast reveals a disturbing tendency towards necrophilia. Only acceptable if you're also putting a dead animal on the toast

TGIF :-) Moben Call Centre gets more than they bargain for!

Hi Friday peops

Sort of back to 'normal' this week - whatever 'normal' is here in St. Irchley ;-)

Moben kitchens left 50 blank messages on my answer machine on Monday before finally catching me to tell me how lucky I was to have been 'chosen' to have my kitchen done - and despite me answering all their set questions and declining their very kind offer, they left another 44 blank messages on Tuesday to check I was still interested.....so on Wednesday when they called me again to check my details I sort of made it more interesting..........YES I had been in the house more than 10 years, NO the kitchen was only a year old (you didn't say that yesterday? - that's because today is today) and when they asked how many people lived here - I said sometimes just me and sometimes there were ten of us.. and do you have a partner and I said I had two - sometimes three ....and none of them ever know where anything is in the kitchen so who cares...that he clicked that I was being less than helpful - even though mostly I was telling the truth as all you TGIFers know ;-)

Mon & Tues bimbled round Earlswood Lakes with Sarah - pondering and putting the World to rights - and she has asked for your help this week - and I shall forward all your responses - and maybe this is a good forum for answering the weird and wonderful quandaries that blight our wine laden evenings?
Answers on a post-card - or simply by return e-mail will be good.....and remember folks this is Garry versus Sarah.....

1. When we talk about soldiers dipped in that runny yolk - are soldiers toasted or just 'raw' bread?
2. When we have a sandwich - do we spread butter on one side of the slice of the bread or on both slices?
and finally....
3. Is it proper for toast to still be hot when we spread our butter on it at breakfast or should it be cold?

Believe me, this will really help Earlswood lakes ripples settle.....

In Kiwi land, little Lucia had her birthday this week - and because I was so blonde, I couldn't work out when I should call to try and make sure I got the right day/morning/evening to say happy birthday - so instead I shall call at the weekend and break the good news that in January 2008, they had better brace themselves - as I have taken the plunge and put mom's money where her mouth is - and shall be gracing their islands. I still need a bit of help trying to work out when I fly out and when I linger for an extra week with them - so I make sure I am at Heathrow on the right day!!!

Helping Sharpie build a wardrobe this weekend - as you do........

Have a good one folks - and don't forget to help out with Sarah's bread queries.....

Kimmie x

PS Thanks for this Hilarie - since I haven't been to the gym this last fortnight and am starting to expand it seems quite appropriate!

The Miracle of Toilet paper
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds" Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked. "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?" He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. Stupid, stupid man

TGIF :-) NHS - has gone to the dawgs

Hi Friday peops
Thanks for all your e-mail and text good wishes re the old bird - who has survived the NHS holocaust - I passed them all on - mom has lived to fight another day (and dad!) -and thanks also for your encouragement to complain - some of you have already tried it - so as you know it is futile and a waste of energy - all you get is a placatory 'sorry' letter - but nothing changes - so we didn't bother, but maybe some national newspaper will pick up the photos off the Blog - I did got mom's best side? .

It came to a crunch when she ceremoniously threatened to discharge herself last Thursday evening after learning that they were considering keeping her in 4 days over Easter doing sweet fanny adams, as they hadn't bothered to push for the last vital hugely time-consuming and life-changing test - yes - a Doppler of her legs - and for those of you who don't know what that is - it's basically a 5 minute mini-ultrasound test - a last 'vein' attempt (get it? vein....) to look at blood flow - yes folks this is where your tax is going.... anyway needless to say the nice man came up and did the test and she stomped off the ward, with more engorged veins protruding from her very angry neck than her legs!

Ian still seemed determined to find a clot - so chauffeured her to Leicester where she had a thorough MOT courtesy of all his very important colleagues - all they could find is that she has forgotten how to breathe properly - and walks too fast?! So mom is retraining herself to breathe from her diaphragm - that's the muscular doobry under her lungs - not the contraceptive variety - mind you that might be more interesting?

Work - is back to 'normal' - I've had a good week with some interesting incidents to sort out - like the secretary who reported that when she re-loaded her Printer's paper, pictures of naked women churned out - so we had to try and get to the 'bottom' of finding out who it was, and keep 'abreast' of the investigation, and I would be there for her if she felt the need to get anything off her 'chest'..... and then we had an e-mail alert about a Neonatal nurse in the UK who had set herself on fire after using alcohol hand rub - so I asked our Lead Nurse whether we should have a policy in place to reduce the risk of spontaneous combustion of our already dwindling nursing staff, and I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to print her reply in case any of them read the Blog ;-)

Had a lovely evening with Peter yesterday - went to see Mr Bean - don't bother - only a couple of funny moments - so we came home and chilled and read books instead -which was much more fun - we're reading about 3 each at the moment and getting them all mixed up - well, I am - he's not... for someone who can't remember what I told him yesterday he has an amazingly selective memory - I guess memory and Mr Bean are both 'man things'?

I'm off to Trentham Gardens tomorrow bimbling with Sue & SPICE - Sue is very pleased cos it's my turn driving - and there is a German beer festival there apparently - so I think there will be much girlie singing in the car again on the way home! I shall also be asking Peter to help me set up my wormery - they are in the kitchen at the moment settling in to their new home :-)
I'm off to slurp some wine now.... a sort of toast to a 'normal' week - I hope yours was fairly normal.

Welcome home to Chris & Rohini - and good luck in your new job in Leicester Ro! Tracy - sending you big hugs for you and Janet.
Love n stuff
Kimmie x

TGIM :-/ NHS - why infection rates are so high and people are starving!

Hi Friday peops
Bit late - but figured it was Bank Holiday and you wouldn't mind - and wasn't in the right frame of mind to write anything on Friday - so anyway here goes...

On Monday mom felt 'strange' on the way to the shops with dad and took herself into the GP's who '999'd' her into her local Acute Trust - the 'Centre of Excellence' her oxygen levels were low and blood sugar was high - and they thought she might have had a pulmonary embolus - so admitted her overnight to the Medical Assessment Unit. Now this is where the fun started - mom is surrounded by male patients - yes, according to the Department of Health 97% of Trusts meet the single sex accommodation standard - Smelly Poke isn't one of them it seems - to add insult to injury a student nurse was continually tying the curtains back between the beds so there was no privavcy or dignity for mom - sort of robotic style - something to do I guess? Little Brother came down and listened with his stethoscope and talked to me in Doctor gobbledegook speak - talking about gradients and such like - hadn't a bloody clue what he was on about!

On Tuesday, I discovered that mom had been moved round the corner and was effectively in the passage way of a DVT clinic - with a row of men sitting opposite her - all waiting for routine blood tests - no chair to sit in - and her jug of water and cup across the 'route' that these out patients were using! She begged me not to say anything because she felt safer here than round the corner with the junkies and drunks! After several tests were proving negative they still seemed determined to find a clot - I did point out that if they were desperate they could opt for the clots who had been sat at the end of her bed every day - me and dad. She was evicted from her bed at 12pm and promised a bed on the ward - which she waited and waited for - but hey, a bit of comfort - the evening meal arrived - so mom was served some soup - on a dressing trolley - which was doubling up as a linen trolley - yes - see the pictures - the blurry one is because I was shaking so much with anger!! Better still, because she was in the 'clinic' area, she wasn't 'allowed' a plated meal - so just the soup - to help the healing process.....yup folks - something else which was promised - protected meal times - what we're not told is that if the patient is in the 'wrong part of the ward' they don't get ANY meal!! She finally got moved to a 'proper' ward at 7pm.

By Wednesday I had gone down with a rip roaring cold - and was in a vile mood - and poor mom was snapping and I was snapping back - and in a nutshell she discharged herself on Thursday night - I'm glad she did though because I really do believe she is safer at home.

That is why you didn't get your TGIF - and believe me this is a snapshot of the things we experienced - you really wouldn't believe half the stuff we experienced. There have been a few tears this end I can tell you!

Anyway suffice to say - don't feel like being very funny and ending with a joke - or maybe I should - here it is: The NHS ;-/

On a happier note - last week's TGIf now has a photo of Alex on it... plus Peter has been a darling and put up with my moods - mind you that's probably because he hasn't been anywhere near!.....so that's been a good show - thanks Peter!! :-/

Stay safe - ie 'Go Private'!!!
Kimmie x